Dearest Daddy,
How are you? I guess you are rocking the angels up there huh?! I am sure you are having a blast together with your friends. I am writing to kindly send my regards to our Lord Jesus Christ. Whisper to him to send his angels to guide and protect us while we are here in this earth. We do not have the power to be in control of what is happening around us. Only Him alone can give us his shield of protection.
By the way, Dad….I miss you , I miss you terribly…. It has been almost 5 years since you bid goodbye to all of us.
Thank you for believing in me….. Even if I myself didn’t believe in my own strengths and capabilities.
Thank you for being a good father and provider. Thank you for your endless sharing how you struggled as a bread winner of your family during your younger years. That story will forever remain in my heart as you always share it to us every time we have a meal every Sunday. I will never forget your exact words and reactions everytime you narrate your story….. I even memorized and imitate your voice and would portray it in front of mom whenever she misses you.
Dad, thank you for entrusting your precious car to me. This automobile is my memorabilia of you. Every time I drive this vehicle, I can feel your presence and how I wish I can play your old cassette tapes here but sadly your stereo system broke down a few years ago.
I became a fan of your favorite artists like Perry Como and Frank Sinatra…. That is how I idolize you dad…. Your favorites are now my favorites. My friends find me weird whenever I play your CDs while driving on a winding road. They were like…. “Mackie are you ok? You need a help? We are just here for you….” I will just smile and tell them, “Don’t worry I am just missing my dad.”
I remember the times when we used to go to movies together. You loved watching suspense, action movies and military fiction. I would love to go with you even if I don’t understand what we are watching and that I would end up sleeping my head off your shoulder the entire movie hahahahaha.
I also remember the times that I would love to sleep on top of you when I was a kid. I love to sleep on your tummy because the growling of your stomach sounds like a lullaby to me.
As your youngest daughter, you made me feel that I am your favorite but at the same time my sisters never became envy about it because your love is equally divided.
I know that there are times that you are being to hard on us by always checking where exactly we are located. You feel like you need to purchase all instruments what the NBI is using to easily locate where we are in just a snap. Having a dead battery on our cellphone is not an excuse because you almost bought all the alternative gadgets at the store in case we forget to charge our devices.
Whenever we go out of town trips, mom feels secured because she knows that you are in charge with everything. She feels that even if we might encounter an unexpected incident she feels that she is in good hands with your care.
I will never forget when you took me out to a restaurant when I was in college. One waiter asked if I was your girlfriend… You know what was my reaction at the back of my mind? I said to myself, “ewwwwwwww that was gross!!” But then I find it sweet afterwards because you never fail to show your affection to us by hugging and kissing us on our cheeks in public places.
When I graduated from college. I felt bad and good at the same time. You were such a kill joy when me and my friends are rejoicing because all the sleepless nights of studying before graduation finally paid off. And there you are telling us…. “Huwag muna kayo magpakasaya dahil dito pa lang nagsisimula ang hirap ng buhay.” (It is not yet time to rejoice because this is only the beginning of the hardship of life). As I look back, I realized that you were absolutely right. That is why graduation programs are called “Commencement exercise” because commencement came from the word commence meaning “begin”.
Thank you for allowing me to be courted by a few men. I can’t forget the time when I encountered my first heartache. Thank you for being there for me. You even bought me a ticket to US to visit mom and relatives to help ease the bruises of my fragile heart. Thank you for letting me experience to travel alone…. The experience was great and I will be forever grateful for that.
The moment that I’ve been afraid off is to see you get sick. Back then it was a privilege of me to accompany you at the hospital while mom was away. Mom’s care for you is different from my style. When your Doctor told me that you have been diagnosed with prostate cancer stage 4, I directly asked what can be the solution. He said that the best way is to have a Pain management declared that you only have 6 months to live. At that moment, I thanked God that he equipped me with enough strength to face the fact that my Dad is going to die soon… I immediately told mom about your condition as I cannot contain this all by myself. I found a perfect song that suits your condition at that time:
Time came that you need to bid goodbye. When you held your last breath, there was no tear came out from my eye. I don’t know dad, maybe I felt happy and sad at the same time…. It was a mixed emotions…. I have to be in control of the situation and proceed to what I will do next. Crying is not an option to me as of the moment.
I felt proud as your daughter as these soldiers gave you a 21 gun salute in honor of your service to our country. Mom felt honored as the military officers handed the -Philippine flag representing all your hardships for 45 years in the military service.
Dad, to end my letter, I want to tell you that you are the best Dad in the world! You have your own shortcomings and I have embraced and accepted it. You are human, you say what you want to say and never cared to what other people would think. You never said anything negative behind other people’s back and that is what your friends loved about you.
I also dedicate this song for you and mom. You guys will forever be my source of inspiration until my journey ends. Your love story with her is incomparable…. Your love for her is undeniably true despite of your shortcomings.
Until we meet again. I love you so much Dad.
From your youngest daughter,
Mackie
Life Hugger 